Mensa Word List 2006

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Mensa Word List

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational for 2006, asking readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Winners are:

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

Glibido: All talk and no action

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

Also:

coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs

flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained

abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach

esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk

willy-nilly, adj. impotent

negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown

lymph, v. to walk with a lisp

gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash

flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller

balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline

testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam

rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists

Pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist

oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms

Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there

circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts