sledging quotes

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Mark Waugh was standing at second slip when Black Cap Adam Parore made his way into the middle and missed the first ball. Mark Waugh commented: "I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you're f****** useless now". Parore replied:"Yeah, that's me and when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut and now I hear you've married her. You dumb **** ".

During an Ashes Test at Lords Merv Hughes turned to Robin Smith after he played and missed and announced: "You can't f****** bat". Smith then smacked Merv the Swerve to the boundary and replied: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f****** bat and you can't f****** bowl."

As South African Daryll Cullinan was on his way to the wicket Warney told him he had been waiting two years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," retorted Cullinan.

After Shane Watson had been constantly sledging Kevin Pietersen, the English batsman aimed at Watson's heart as he'd just spit up with his fiancee. "You're just upset 'cos no one loves you any more," Pietersen said.

In an England v Australia Test during early 1960's Trueman was fielding close to the gate from the pavilion. As a new batsman came out he turned to shut the gate, Trueman said "Don't bother son, you won't be out there long enough."

Aussie Glenn McGrath was bowling to Zimbabwean Eddo Brandes and getting frustrated that Brandes was consistently playing and missing. He walked down the pitch and confronted him: "Brandes, why are you so fat?" Brandes' reply will go down in history - "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."

Fred Trueman is bowling and the batsman edges to first slip but goes right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Trueman keeps quiet until the end of the over when Row ambles past Trueman and apologises. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred," Row said. "So should your mother," Fiery Fred replied.

"If it had been a cheese roll, it would never have got past him," Gooch said after Gatting had been bowled by the ball of the century, Shane Warne's first ball in Ashes cricket.

Greg Thomas had beaten Viv Richards' bat a couple of times and told the legendary West Indian captain: "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering." The very next ball was smashed out of the ground by King Vivian at which point Richards piped up: "Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and find it."

James Ormond had just come out to bat on an Ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh thus: "F*** me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England." Ormond replied with the classic: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family."

During the 1991 Adelaide Test match, Pakistan cricketer Javed Miandad called Merv the Swerve a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv got Miandad out and called out "Tickets please" as he ran past the departing batsman.

Legendary West Indian quickie Malcolm Marshall spoke out at Aussie David Boon after he's played and missed: "Now David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

When Ian Botham took guard in an Ashes Test, wicketkeeper Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the words: "So how's your wife and my kids?"

During a test match in the West Indies Merv Hughes just stared at Viv Richards after bowling to him and the West Indian had had enough: "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Hughes said nothing until he got Richards out: "In my culture we just say f*** off."

England opener Mike Atherton endured the wrath of Ian Healy after he was given not-out after edging the ball. "You're a f****** cheat," Healy said. Atherton replied with typical English upper-class wit: "When in Rome, dear boy".

Great fast bowler Dennis Lillee stopped on his run up to Mike Gatting during an ashes Test to tell the rotund England player: "Hell, Gatt, move out of the way. I can't see the stumps

South African-born England captain (and long-time Twelfth Man target) Tony Greig greeted a young David Hookes on his debut with: "When are your balls going to drop, sonny?" Hookes fought back with: "I don't know, but at least I'm playing cricket for my own country."